In the heart of Forest Grove's brick buildings and tree-filled side streets lies a strip of dining areas.
It is one of these restaurants I enter. A slender, smiling man, with black hair and professional attire, stands to greet us at the back of the room. He is Japanese, but it is fitting we are meeting at an Asian fusion restaurant rather than the Japanese restaurant next door.
This is because Y.* himself is fusion, the best of two cultures. He is an international student, experienced at overcoming obstacles. With help and determination, Y. has made, and makes, America his home even though he will return to Japan to take over his father’s eyeglass lens shop in the coming years.
Greeting him I notice the pair of spectacles on his lapel, an indication of his present work and future calling. He is studying at Pacific University and splits his time between his present position at an optometry clinic, and his research work on campus.
After discussing the challenges he has at his current work location, an optical store twenty minutes down the road, we turn to how he faced past challenges. Y. was accepted to the Master of Science in Vision Science, a research-based program, at Pacific University in Forest Grove in 2019. I ask Y. how he navigated his life initially in coming to the States.
"I like the phrase, 'When in Rome do as the Romans do.' In the beginning, I tried to be as Japanese as possible. I felt I shouldn't forget I'm Japanese. But as time went by, and my English improved, I became more confident in talking with Americans. I met a good American friend in my program, who helped me a lot, and I found a balance between American and Japanese cultures."
"Could you speak more about that?" I take a bite of food.
"In the beginning, I did not like American culture as much. I felt people were lazy, sloppy, not punctual, irresponsible, especially when it came to arriving on time. Also, being friendly is a good thing, but I felt being friendly with strangers invades one’s space. I really did not appreciate American qualities. In social interactions I felt, ‘This guy is acting uncomfortably close.’
“But at some point through my American friends, I started appreciating that friendliness is a good cultural characteristic, and I like it so much now. For example, if you’re waiting in line at a restaurant and someone is wearing a t-shirt which has your favorite anime character they say, ‘I like your t-shirt,’ and you can become friends very quickly. There’s no boundary. There should be but… Let me give you an example, if you talk to a person in Japan they feel, ‘You’re a stranger why are you talking to me?’ There is a thick, invisible boundary. But here all the Starbucks people know me, and I know them. Now I have no hesitancy to talk with random people. When I go back to Japan I may scare people, and experience reverse culture shock.
“I now have two cultures in my spirit. I’m trying to be responsible, punctual, and polite while also being very friendly and communicating with people. Japanese who stay here for just one year don’t really get to that point, and then if they do, they must go back shortly afterwards. It takes at least a half year to know and adapt to American culture. Of course, it depends on the person.”
"How did you handle things in the wake of Covid 19?"
“The struggle during that time was horrible. Within one month I went from having lots of Japanese international student friends, who helped me feel comfortable because we speak the same language, to a few Japanese international student friends. Most of the Japanese students left because their program was terminated early, and I barely had a chance to say goodbye.
“Our classes went online. I was not used to studying at home; I had no study-home-life balance. I was in my room daily with the blinds shut, watching television on my phone, and trying to cram in lots of lectures at the last minute. I'd stay up until four in the morning chatting with friends back home, which did not help my homesickness (I was already missing my aging grandfather, 14-year-old cat, and a niece I still have not met because she was born while I was here). I nearly failed one of my classes."
"Is this why you are taking an extra semester to finish your master’s program?" I ask.
"Yes. I hated who I had become. I knew I could go back to Japan, but I would go back empty handed. I decided this is not why I came to the states, and not who I want to be. I began my hobby of playing bass guitar again. There were no Japanese people. So, I just had to be friends with American people. I made new friends, American ones, that were introduced to me by others. These friends helped me improve my American social skills. That’s the only way I could survive. Today they are still some of my closest friends. In the end, I overcame."
"What do you plan to do when you earn your degree?"
“I am allowed to work for two years after finishing my studies while still on an F-1 visa. I plan to do my OPT, Optional Practical Training.’ But after that, even if a job offers me a working visa, I think I’ll go home. My father is 63 and owns an optical store in Japan. I hope to return there and become the manager while he is still the C.E.O. so I can learn from him before taking over the business.”
“Did your sister ever have an interest in learning the business?”
“No,” he smiles, probably thinking of his six-month-old nephew. “She had her own interests and optometry wasn’t one of them. And in Japan, the son usually takes over the business.”
“Is there anything else you’d like to share with me?”
Y. glances over the notes he has on his phone.
“You had asked about my expectations before coming here. One of the things I didn’t expect was not having a summer break.” He grins.
“So, you didn’t know that the Masters of Vision Science program continues through the summer?”
“No,” he says ending our conversation on a humorous note.
Y.’s humor, transparency, and story, energize me as we exit the building. So many international students I meet carry a similar resourceful tenacity. A resourceful tenacity that inspires their American friends. International students face many obstacles as they chase their dreams. And at the end of their sojourn they are left victorious, albeit a little out of breath.
*Name shortened for privacy